Well oh my word, my blog has gone dark the past few weeks! Man.
Quite frankly, my life has pretty much been rocked. If you follow me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, you probably know that my precious father passed away. It really has been one of the most surreal and heart wrenching things I’ve ever gone through.
He’d struggled with Alzheimer’s Disease for many years, so I’m so happy he is free of that burden. It was so so hard to see him that way and watch him struggle. However, even though I lost my dad to Alzheimer’s years ago, I felt an entirely different level of loss when he passed away. It was much, much harder than I thought it would be.
There is a certain role that parent’s play in a child’s life that I feel can’t be filled by anyone else. Even though I’m a full grown adult, and have been for a long time now, I can still feel like a child when I’m around my mom and dad. I feel like they can protect me, love me and accept me more than anyone else in the world can. I find such comfort, peace, security and unconditional love from my parents.
So, having my sweet, sweet, precious father die seriously ripped a huge hole in my heart. Suddenly the world seems like a much bigger, less certain and much scarier place. I know that sounds weird, but it’s hard to put those emotions into words.
I’ll just sum it up by saying….man, it’s rough. 🙁
However, I’m very, very grateful for my faith and that I know I will see my dad again. I also know he can still be with me right now and I’ve already experienced several tender moments that have assured me of that.
I also realized the other day that although Alzheimer’s and death stole my sweet daddy away from me, he will always be my dad. I will always be the person I am because of him. I will always remember the things he taught me and the special moments I’ve had with him. Those things can never be taken away from me.
There are a lot of things about me that I think I got from my dad. I will always look at my hands and fingernails and remember that they look like his. I have his crazy eyebrows. I love music, singing and Broadway and so does he. I visited my dad in the rest home a couple months ago and I sang part of “The Music of the Night” from Phantom of the Opera to him. Although he could hardly speak, he tried so hard to sing it with me and I could tell he was trying so hard to remember it. I loved it. Little did I know that the next time I’d see him he wouldn’t be able to talk or sing at all. I’m sure grateful for that precious moment I had with him.
I also love learning, reading, fixing things and figuring out how things work….so does my dad. I’m also a softie and I love people. When my friends and loved ones are happy and succeed….I’m happy for them. When I hear about people struggling or suffering, it cuts me to the core. My dad was a sensitive soul and I love that about him.
I just feel very grateful that I was blessed with such an amazing father and it’s so nice to remember that he will always be my dad forever and ever no matter what.
I also just want to say that my dad’s funeral was beautiful. It was so nice to honor my dear, sweet father and his incredible life. My sisters and I sang “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” which was one of my dad’s favorite songs. My siblings and I also shared memories and thoughts about our father.
My dad was an Army veteran as well as an FBI officer. One of my brothers is a police officer and was able to arrange a police escort and honor guard for my dad. It was amazing and I know my dad would have love, love, loved it!!!
It was a wonderful day and it made me so grateful for family. <3
I will say that my dad’s passing has brought my family closer together and has made me more grateful for everything in my life. He makes me want to be a better person and continue to honor him by living my life the best that I can.
Well, the week that my dad died, I pretty much spent every single day with my family. Several of my siblings live out of state, so it was so nice to be with them.
Then, the following week our little family went on a family vacation to San Diego. We’d planned this trip a while ago and although it felt strange to go on vacation so soon after my dad’s passing, it was also so nice to get away for a bit and spend some time with my precious little family.
I’ll write a separate post later on all about our trip, but I will say that we had such a fun time! We live in a beautiful world and it was so fun to explore and enjoy the beauty all around us.
One night on our trip after spending the afternoon at the beach, we were driving around looking for a place to eat. I just about fell out of the van when we drove past this sign…
My dad was a man of deep thoughts, short “speeches” and memorable quotes. He used to always say, “You are exactly where you’re supposed to be at this moment.” When we drove by this sign, it touched my heart to the core. I don’t even know why this sign was there, but I was so grateful for it. We had to stop to get a picture!
We were also able to visit the USS Midway aircraft carrier museum on our trip. My dad loved stuff like that! When I was growing up, if we were on vacation and there was a battleship, fort or any other patriotic piece of history to see…we were there!
While we were driving down to San Diego, one of my brother’s sent me a picture of my dad at the USS Midway a couple of years ago. He told me we should go and recreate the picture…so we did! I’m so glad we did!
We weren’t in the exact same spot, but we were pretty close.
We had a wonderful trip, and I’ll share all about it soon!
I’ve also been busy this week running around with my sister who is still in town. We’ve had a lot of fun. I hiked up to Timpanogos Cave today with my two sisters and some of our boys and loved it!
I went shopping and to lunch with my mom, sisters, nieces and sister-in-law over the weekend and we had fun. I had to laugh when I saw this “husky” picture of me!
We always joke around about who is in the “fat seat,” the one who is closer to the camera always looks so much bigger and wider than everyone else!
Well, when I saw this picture of me, I felt like I should walk with a strut and talk in a full-on deep voice! I totally look like a man! It is frightening.
Thankfully, we took another picture and mixed it up a bit…
I still look a lot larger than everyone else though, which is funny because I’m about the same height as my mom, my older sister and daughter are only 2 inches shorter than me and little sister is 3 inches taller than me! Super weird!
Kev and I also took two of our boys to the Dan TDM (a famous Minecraft YouTuber) tour last weekend and they were in heaven.
We surprised them with it and they loved it so much. It was so much fun!
Yes, we have been so crazy. I don’t think I’ve ever been this busy for this long in my entire life!
It’s been so nice to be with family, make memories and just enjoy the summer though! We’re heading out of town for a Family Reunion with Kev’s family this weekend and then I THINK life will slow down a bit!
I know I’ve already shared a lot and I’m trying to keep it as brief as I can, but since I haven’t been able to blog in so long, I have a lot to share! As far as my Oxygen Challenge goes…surprisingly it’s still going well!
I wasn’t able to stick with it absolutely perfectly while we were on vacation, but overall I was happy with my efforts. I’ve just really tried to focus on eating clean food, eating enough protein, not eating too much, consistently getting my workouts in and lifting as heavy as I can!
I just keep pluggin’ along and take it one day at a time! I feel pretty good. I feel leaner and stronger. When I got home from our trip last week, I definitely felt a little bloated and fluffy. I think a lot of it was because we ate out a lot, I consumed more sodium and processed foods and just traveling in the car for so long.
It took me 4-5 days to get back down to where I was before we left on our trip, but I’m finally there and making progress once again….just in time to go out of town again! Gah! I don’t think it will be as bad this time though because we’re only going for a few days and we’ll be eating much more homemade food. I will do my best!
I haven’t taken any healthy living pictures lately, so I got nuthin’ to share! I will share a few tips that have helped me though…
- I schedule my workouts in my calendar and then stick to them! I treat them just like an appointment and schedule other conflicts and obligations around them as best as I can. I’ve learned that if I’m not a little stubborn about getting my workout in….it just doesn’t happen!
- I like to put off eating breakfast for a while….kind of like intermittent fasting. I don’t follow the intermittent fasting rules to a T, but I’ve just learned that my appetite stays in control and I eat less overall if I put off breakfast. I usually have my first meal of the day between 11 AM- 1 PM. It really helps me a lot!
- I try to be mindful with my eating and make sure to stay in control. I’ve learned the only time it’s really hard for me to eat well and resist tempting foods is when I’m hungry! Soooo, when I start to crave something unhealthy, I STOP and think about it, realize I’m hungry and then I make sure to eat something healthy. The craving always subsides afterward and I move on….happy that I didn’t cave in!
- I have had a few small tastes of unhealthy foods here and there. I’ve had a few fries, small handfuls of trail mix, a couple of chips, etc. I know there are certain foods I have to avoid altogether, “trigger foods” that I know would just make it much harder for me to stick to the plan! I know I need to be very careful with sugary foods, especially homemade baked goods. I’ve stayed clear of them 100%! I’ve also tried to make the best choices possible when I go out to eat. I ate a salad most of the time when we ate out on our vacation. I did have a burger twice, but one time we were at Legoland and it was seriously the best option and the other time it was a highly recommended food item that I just had to eat. I felt fine about both of those choices, but I didn’t allow it to cause me to get off track and continue to make poor choices!
- I’ve just been taking it one day at a time. I’ve tried so hard to be consistent, but have also cut myself some slack from time to time. I knew I’d have to compromise a bit on our vacation; I missed several workouts that week and the week that my dad died. However, I didn’t let it discourage me! I just picked it right back up the next day. I’m not quittin’ and I will see it through to the end!
Well, I think that’s all the tidbits I have to share today! I’m hoping I’ll be able to get back to regular blogging now that life is slowing down a bit. In the meantime, I’ve been doing a better job at keeping my Instagram Stories updated! You can follow me there if you so desire. I have so many random thoughts throughout the day and I find it much easier to just hop on Instagram and share them!!!
Well, I hope you all have a great night! xoxo